Why do I create? Why do you?

An interactive inquiry 

Why do I create?

I create because we are living in an age of extinction.

I create to create in an age of extinction. I create to create contradiction.  

I create towards what I do not know. What I do not understand about the world, about where I live, about myself.

I create to learn.  

I create to let my Capricorn heart feel and to let my Cancer rising think and to let my Sagittarius moon go internal.

I create to collect myself back to a wholeness. To forgive myself. To accept myself. To understand why my soul chose this body, this identity, this time, this family, this skin, this class, this brain, this body, this heart to continue to heal. What am I called to heal for my family? For the people I love? For my ancestors? For my people, European Americans? For just me?   

I create because I am hopeless. I am overwhelmed. I don’t know what to do. I create into this field to see and remember that I have choice. That I have agency. That I can shape reality too.

I create because life is short and creation is the offering I have for this planet and this aliveness and all the places and people and ideas that I love in ways that expand me into eternity.

I create because I am a parent and I want my child to believe in the power of creation and see her parent creating.

I create because the people I am surrounded by create and I want to connect with them in creative processes that allow us to deepen our connection.

I create to open to my continued evolution and transformation.

Why do you create? (free write for 3 minutes)

What stops me from creating?

I am tired.

There is never enough money.

The structures/systems don’t support it.

It is never the right time.

I doubt that what I have to say or do matters.

I don’t think I am good enough.

I am getting old and am a parent other people don’t ask me to do anything anymore. I’ve lost the allure of being an emerging artist and I don’t know if I am good enough to keep going to become a lifelong, ambitious, and visible creator.

Other people are better and if I don’t create, they can make more because they deserve to make things more than I do because they are more interesting, more talented, more necessary, more vital, younger, older, more special than I am.

Others judge creations harshly. What if I am rejected, judged, misunderstood, or labeled as something I don’t want to be labeled as for my creations? Better to just stay small and quiet and safe.  

I want to push myself towards my most potent and meaningful potential. I don’t have energy to put myself through a process full of unknowns, of growth, of vulnerability. I am scared.

What stops you from creating? (free write for 3 minutes)

What do I do about those barriers?

I talk to my soul, my guides, my ancestors, my angels, to divine love and see that the Creator encourages creation in service to love.

I engage with love. I use my mentor, Sharon Bridgforth’s question, what does infinite love want me to know?

I soften towards myself and say, What if it’s okay to do what you love the most of all? What if it’s okay to make the life you want for yourself? What if your desire to create is sacred, eternal, and blessed? 

I find the time. I find the resources. I trust that I can do things without a grant. I trust that if I don’t get the grant, I didn’t need that grant or that project. I show up and ask for what I want and I surrender to the outcome and trust the process. I decide if I need to just do the work alone without outside eyes, outside funding, deadlines, an intended audience, and sometimes I do. I create for my well-being.

I trust that when I am parenting, friending, showing up for others, that I am living through the experiences I need to live through to deepen my artistic projects that I will make down the road. I am living and gaining ideas, exploring emotions, and being inspired by caretaking and living and this will serve my future creations. My life is also a creative project. My relationships are creative, my work is creative, my daily mundane chores and barriers to creation may also be inspiring creation.

I practice gratitude for when I am able to create, instead of judging myself harshly for not creating.

I thank all of the other artists whose books, dances, music, plays, creations, found a way to be made. I thank those artists for believing in themselves. I see their efforts towards creation as a call, an invitation, an inspiration for me to keep facing my barriers.   

What can you do about what stops you from creating? (free write for 3 minutes)

What does infinite love want you to know about why it matters that you create? Pause. Breathe. Close your eyes. What does infinite love want you to know about why it matters that you create? Write about what you see, feel, or what words come up as you sit with that question.

Final Exercise:

Read through everything you wrote. Circle the phrases or words that stand out to you the most. Write them out again below. Now see if there is a short statement, one or two sentences that comes through that you want to put somewhere that you can read often. In your sock drawer. On your bathroom mirror. On your refrigerator.

Mine is:

I practice receiving inspiration from infinite love to create, to heal, and to love right back.

I developed this writing as an artist advisor with Transformational Creative Strategies Training (TRCSTR) of Hope Community.  Established in 2020, TRCSTR is a cohort training program for community and public artists, supporting them through individual and collective mentorship from facilitators and advisors. Cohort sessions offer hands-on learning, facilitated activities and conversations that build skills, explore questions, and develop creative strategies. I have loved being a part of the TRCSTR community and meeting new artists and deepening relationships with other remarkable artists. Thank you TRCSTR!